Fake Lost Spoilers

• The remaining Oceanic Flight 815 survivors are slaughtered by a rampaging Jay Leno.
• Michael Dawson & Mr. Eko return, joined by Tobias Beecher, Vern Schillinger, and Ryan O'Reily.
• Jack: "We're stuck on the island forever, but there is good news -- I saved a ton of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!"
• Snape kills Ben Linus.

via John Hodgman:

• Charlie alive, but a very old man. Playing in a DRIVESHAFT tribute band. Played by Bill Nighy.
• Abbadon is now the guy from Fringe.
• The plane is now a zeppelin.
• RT @jasonpermenter: Locke's carpet now matches the drapes.

via @thinkgeek:

• Richard Alpert revealed to be 13th cylon.

via Paul and Storm

• The whole final half-hour was just Hurley carefully preparing and eating a club sandwich.